Sweet friend. Today, you will wake up knowing you have to do the impossible. Today is yet another procedure for you. The one you don’t want. The one that says goodbye to the baby you didn’t get to meet. And it’s not the first time you’ve walked this. You will lift your head as you walk to the car and breathe hard trying to hold back the flood of tears. As you drive, you will stare out the window, willing them to stop as they slip down your cheeks.
When you arrive at the hospital, you will stop before you get out of the car, waiting in the passenger seat as your knowing husband stands at the back of the car waiting for you. You know you have to but you wait just a few minutes longer to see if there is a way to not go in, to not have to walk this again, to not check in and tell them why you are there.