Friends for the Long Haul

I just celebrated a 15-year anniversary with a very special person. A person who has loved me through good times and bad, laughed with me until we’ve cried, and with whom I’ve shared many glasses of wine and slices of pizza. This person is the one who says “Me, too,” when I’m at my most vulnerable and will gently set me straight when I’m at my most crazy.

My best friend, my soul mate, my partner in crime…but not my husband. We’d already had eight years of history before I met my husband and her approval was absolutely critical when I was dating. We are a package deal. All my best stories start with, “Sara and I…”

Don’t get me wrong, my husband is amazing. I tell my three-year old (over and over and over…) you can have more than one best friend. And I don’t know that I really believe in soul mates, but if I do at all, then someone or something put Sara and I in the same dorm, two doors down from each other, with no lunch plans on a random August afternoon.

I’ve busted my butt in life and I know to give myself credit for where I am, but I’ll throw some at her too. I’ve learned a lot from her, but most importantly to see myself the way she sees me. Our running text string is a chronological history of the good, bad and ugly in our lives. There are only so many people you can text immediately when your daughter just told you that you have a big butt or when you’re sad that the world is a dark place so often lately.

Friends for the Long Haul | Twin Cities Moms Blog{Photo credit: Anthologie}

Okay, you’re saying, “I get it.” Is this just a dedication to your best friend? Kind of…because she rocks, but also a message about friendship in the crazy lives we lead.Finding these kinds of friends isn’t always easy and keeping these kinds of friendships is even harder, especially with marriages and children and jobs. It’s way too easy to forget that being a friend and having a friend are important for all of us.

Not all friendships are made to last. Some friendships are those of convenience; the neighbor or the parent at school. Some friendships run their course and some friendships stop and pick back up later. I firmly believe that every friend is a bright star in our busy lives. We need diversity and people who see us differently. I recently reconnected with a friend from high school. We had gone 15 years without talking but ended up in the same city with similar interests, a shared awkward history and a love for margaritas. How cool is that? I’ve also recently become good friends with my daughter’s friend’s parents and the neighbor across the street. I’m a lucky lady in the friendship world.

My message here is that you can have many friends throughout your life. Make the effort to nurture those special friendships. The friends that will be with you for the long haul. Friends that you have history with, friends who can be your guiding light and friends that will know you through different phases of your life. Maybe you already know that friend. Maybe you haven’t met that friend yet. (Don’t give up hope, it’s never too late.) When you have it, you know and you should lock it up with investment. Use your love language on that friend and hold on tight. These are the friends that will get it when you have a bad day, when you snap out of frustration and when you’re so incredibly excited about something that you go on and on about it. These are the friends that our crazy lives need.

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