Have you ever said that? Mama needs a glass of wine.
Like…. at what time of the day is it actually socially appropriate to pour a glass of wine?
You know that day. Screaming, crying, yelling, fighting. It just wasn’t the most spectacular of days and the kids were running rampant as you tried to hold onto your last shred of sanity. We’ve all been there. We’ve had those days. Let’s get real. It happens.
And in those moments, you just want to adult. As in, be with other adults. Or maybe, just be by yourself. As mamas, we are constantly pouring our hearts and souls into our children. You may have put in a long hard day at work and then came home and invested the crap into your kiddos while cooking supper and loving on your dear husband. You are expending every part of your being into your family and friends and coworkers and neighbors and at the end of the day, you are completely spent.
I hear you fellow mama. I am right there with you. I raise my glass in honor of you today.
Now let me tell you something. You just spent everything you had on everybody else, and I now give you permission to go and do something for YOU. We are useless if we constantly GIVE GIVE GIVE. We give until we have nothing left and then no wonder our fuse is short, we have hot tempers and yell at the drop of a hat. We’ve got nothing left in us to sustain any type of decent human interaction. We are cranky and agitated and everything seems to be annoying.
You need to do something to fill your soul back up so that you can go out and give more of yourself. You need to fill your own cup up so that you have more grace and patience and pure humanity to share.
So… the question is, what is your thing?
Getting your nails done?
Going for a run?
Ladies night out?
Coffee shop bliss?
Exploring a new restaurant all by yourself?
Going to a movie?
A date with your husband?
A peaceful solo walk?
Been itching to get that new tat?
Try some things out and find what fills your soul. This can be your normal hobbies (reading, scrapbooking, hiking, etc.) or maybe something rare that you just don’t usually get done often. Like say, a haircut.
For me, sometimes I can get away with a nice hot bath upstairs with the door LOCKED. No kids interrupting me and I can just zone out or possibly catch up on the ever exhilarating information on my Facebook newsfeed.
But one thing that has been incredible for me is the arrangement I have made with my husband. Each and every Sunday afternoon, after we get home from church, I lay the baby down for a nap and I head to Starbucks for three hours ALONE. I bring my laptop and I write during that time because it’s something I love to do and this is the perfect opportunity to get uninterrupted time to really focus on my writing. A freakin’ full three hours. My husband saw I had a need to both get work done and also catch a breath so I can come back home restored and revitalized to be the BEST ME.
Unless something else big comes up, we have it on our calendar that every Sunday, I sneak away in the afternoons to have some ME time. I look forward to it every week and knowing that it is there and waiting for me almost makes me be a better mom because I know my time to fill my cup is coming. I come home and pour back into my kids and my husband that Sunday night and the rest of the week because I was able to TAKE a little bit for myself. This arrangement might not always work out for us, but I’ll enjoy it while I have it.
I used to feel HORRID mom guilt because of wanting to do things for myself, but I have been working on that for a few years now and the mom guilt is few and far between now. I get excited to have time to myself now because, DUH, it’s time to myself without snot and boogers being rubbed on me, but also, because I know I will be a better mom after it. That’s the goal right? To be the best moms we can for our kids. If we never give ourselves the chance to better ourselves, how do we expect to be better for our kids?
So, this is your official invitation to be a little selfish sometimes and go out there and rock your ME time. Live it up and fill your cup and then go home and rock your MAMA time. You deserve this. Your KIDS deserve this. Don’t be afraid to take a little so that you can give a lot!
And hey, mama, enjoy that glass of wine.