Mom Friends – It Doesn’t Have to be Hard

I love my mom friends. Beyond words. Every single one of them. 

There’s just that instant connection. For me…Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

{Photo credit: Lauren Marie}

At first, initially, I was going to write this post about making mom friends and how it’s really hard. Because, ya know, that is what all the blog posts I have read are about. And I truly actually thought it was hard. Then, as I starting typing and feeling all the feels that us mommas do, it wasn’t real. Because for me, it’s not hard. It’s actually simple. 

Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s hard for some.

I’m an extrovert, pretty easy going, I don’t judge too much, and I know all us momma’s need a lot more grace in our lives…so yeah, it’s easy for me. 

Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

I mean…every mom you meet, don’t you just have this instant connection? 

Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

Talk about the easiest conversation starters. How we get zero sleep, what color are your kids’ turds, how often do they poop, what age, weight, development, I mean, you hear me, I could go on and on. 

But then, I get it. The judging sets in after the conversation starts.

…they aren’t walking soon enough. My babies not talking enough. Is there something wrong with him or her. But guess what? 99.9% of the time, that is our own crazy momma brains criticizing ourselves. No other mom gives a crap about your kid… we all are our own worst critics. 

Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

And that is exactly why us momma’s need to stick together! Love harder, give a ton more compliments and help one another out. 

Mommin’ ain’t easy. It’s hard work. It’s exhausting, both physically and emotionally. It doesn’t matter if you have a partner or not.

A little while back I was about to walk down the stairs carrying Beckam when Greyson yelled to me, “Carry me too,  Momma!” Ugh. It was 6 am, I was tired (I don’t think I slept), my 9-month-old is heavy as hell and I more than likely rolled my eyes at him and yelled, “UGH.” All that I remember is I turned back and said, “I can’t carry both of my boys, sorry dude.” And he yelled, “YES you can! My momma is STRONG!” I almost cried. All of a sudden, I got a big boost of confidence, stood up straighter, and said: “Damn right I’m strong, come here buddy!” And I trotted down the stairs carrying both my boys. 

Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

I got invited to a little hangout with these ladies to drink margaritas and vent about our kids. We all had to go around the room and say the worst thing about being a parent and our most favorite thing. I really loved that. Something to vent about and then remind ourselves how freaking lucky we are. I can’t even count how many friends of mine can now not get pregnant or have lost a child. It’s hard to vent anymore when your tribe wants what you have. It breaks my heart. 

Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

My worst thing: I only knew two of these girls and I straight up told them how much I missed having mad sex with my hubby! Ha! We had just had a 2 day get-away right before this lunch date and it just reminded me of how much I need alone time with my man to reconnect physically and emotionally. 

My favorite thing: Watching these guys grow and actually shaping them into the men they will be. With those 2 days we were gone I couldn’t believe already how much Beckam (9 months) had changed. It’s crazy and actually makes me cry. We’re raising the future, people! Let’s make them really, really, really good people.

I was just telling these girls that I am very confident that being a mom has made me bi-polar. One second I want to throw my kids out the window and within moments later I want to hug the crap out of them. These hormones man, are something else.

Mom Friends - It Doesn't Have to be Hard | Twin Cities Moms Blog

I almost didn’t make it to this lunch because you know, of all the things to do on the daily and not let the balls drop. But I made it and I was so thankful. So just wanted to share our fun day and remind ourselves that we need a little momma time sometimes. Us mommas need to remember to stick together. I have zero patience for any moms that talk smack about one another. Or actually people in general for that matter. We already beat up on our own selves enough. We got to remember to lift one another up! Not tear each other down. It’s hard enough being a mom let alone having to impress the other mommas out there too. 

When I got home, I asked Jamie what his worst and favorite thing was about parenting. At first, he replied by saying, why do we always have to talk about our feelings? I laughed and loved that I always push my man out of his comfort zone because I secretly think it’ll make him a better man- and so far it has. And his response was almost the same as mine. 

 

When was the last time you’ve had alone time with your man? For us, it was far too long. We always think about doing some staycations but than when we think about the $500 we’d spend we don’t think it’s worth it. But after our little getaway… it reminded me… it’s worth every penny and moment to maintain the strength of our marriage. So mommas, book a little staycation with your man and reconnect – despite how much they are pissing you off right now. We all deserve it!

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